what if...

wah..its more than 3 months i didn't write any post!!

tonight..because i feel very bad and i don't know with whom i can talk..so better for me to write it here~

it is because of yunjae. i like them since before..but lately i can say that i become a number 1 fan of yunjae (which some people call it 'yunjae shipper'). i know about yunjae since ages ago but the more i learn about them..the more i like their closeness till the level that i'm ok if their really in a relationship. oh..i guess not just ok, but i will be 1 of the happiest person on earth if they are real..

their relationship is just sooo sweet. sometimes i feel that its only a fantasy or fan's wild imaginations but another moment i really can feel their love.

what if YUNJAE are REAL??

as i mention, i'll be very happy. but honestly..i'm also afraid. everytime i see jeje shy smile when yunnie's name mention..i will say 'oh God..he is in love!' and thats make me worry.. if he really really loves yunnie that deep..what will happen to their future? live will be sooo hard for them and i can't get myself to see them hurt.

i don't want them to separate but i also afraid what will happen if they are together. just now i ask my elder sister "what if yunjae really in a relationship?"

my sis look at me in a weird look, she said "then they can't be idol anymore. because it is wrong..its a sin!".

 

emm..its makes me wonder..is this the reaction that they might get when they reveal to the public about their relationship? people with bashing them with the same reason 'its wrong', 'its a sin', 'disgusting' and etc.

i know i know i definitely know that it is wrong. i'm a muslim and i know it is such a huge sin!

but.. but.. i love them together! i can't get myself to say that is wrong for them coz it feels soooo right! it is about heart..it is about love.. no one can resist that. they really give me a new point of view about same sex relationship. i won't say that it is right.. i still wrong for whatever reasons. but they show me a very beautiful love.. a pure love.. the only thing that is wrong is they are both male..and thats not their fault to be born as what they are. sometimes i really hope that jeje is a girl so they can be together.

i told my sis that it is love..they are so sweet. and my sis answer.. 'still its wrong. they can't use love as a reason to commit sin..' And i'm sure thats what the community might say if they really are true. oh God..tell me what to do.. please protect them...

as much as i want them to be true..but if 1 day they reveal to public that they have a girlfriend.. they want to marry a girl.. even that moment my hearts probably break into pieces..but i think..i can accept it.maybe i'll think thats the best way.. live is cruel.. and i hates to see them hurt, because i will hurt more~

to yunjae..i don't mind if u guys are real or not, i'll support u with all my heart~ good luck!

Dreaming about 'him'

em..lately i've been dreaming about this person who once owns my heart long time ago.
i wonder why, wonder if he's dreaming about me also but i don't think so. we never contacted each other for a long period.
why? why he keep appearing it my dream? did i miss him? did i still have 'that' feeling for him? i dunno. maybe... i wish i can see him again someday. we're still frens after all ^___^

KOREA HOLIDAY PT 1

Hehe..actually i'm just too boring right now. waiting for my download to complete..still got 50min.
it's almost 6mth since i went to korea but i never write the whole story of the journey anywhere. it is just stored in my head and some of them were shared with some friends..
i'm afraid that 1 day i will forget most of the memories.. so i decide to write it here even though some of them are already vanished from my mind..

START from the airport..
Me and my family reach the airport quite early because the travel agencies told me that we need to meet at 12pm even the flight is at 2.15pm. i arrived at the airport about 30min early and waited for my dearest friend ILLYANIE. after about 10min yanie came. we look at the place that the travel agent ask us to meet but there was still nobody. so we decide to walk around the airport and find a money changer. i've already prepared won but i'm afraid it is not enough so i wanna change some more money.

After that we went to the luggage check in place and there was already bunch of people there and we assumed that they are our group for this tour. We went near but i'm too shy so yanie went to ask 1 of them if they are from the same travel agency. They answered yes then we went to the front to meet our tour leader and gave him our passport and luggage. We were introduced to our tour leader name MUSTAPHA. after finish with luggage check in, we were given about an hour before we need to check in.

So we went to eat kfc because yanie feel so hungry but i don't feel like eating because i'm too nervous at the moment till i lose my appetite. 1st time going to the place that i dream of since i was so young, how can i didn't feel nervous! haha..

i got sumting to do now..i'll continue later ya!!

new shirt....^^

my baby no-no become a model..